Bittersweet

"Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness. Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet, and that life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and callouses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity." - Shauna Niequist

Bittersweet. It's a word that I've used a lot but never really thought much about. It is a word that nicely defines this season of my life. Knoxville has been my home for nearly four months now, but has yet to feel like home. The struggles and heartache I have faced from leaving my family and dear friends sometimes seem unbearable, but the raw, fierce, and unchanging love I receive daily from the Lord allow me to experience a unique sweetness. I have met wonderful people who have graciously welcomed me into their community, and I live with two wonderful girls who are walking alongside me in building a life in Knoxville.

Coming home to Johnson City for Christmas has been bittersweet as well. It means facing the reality that life has moved on and it means catching up on all the things I missed; but it also means getting to look into familiar eyes and see the same sparks of love and friendship that have always existed. Gathering after gathering, conversation after conversation, I am filled with years of sweet memories and lessons learned.

My hope is that one day soon I will look back with thankfulness about what I learned, who I became, what the Lord gave me and what He took away during this season.